Flying With The Twin
by Malia Ragan
Part 1
We begin to plan, the four of us; three Realtors and a mortgage broker. Sounds like a fun bunch, huh? That’s where I face my first dilemma of many on this trip. The plane! My thought is which airport to choose to embark on our excursion; or better yet, to break it down, which airport or airline has a plane flying from Alabama to NYC that is larger than a crop duster (extremely small prop plane) to avoid a claustrophobic meltdown of the twin. Or, if it is a crop duster, how short is the flight before catching our connecting flight in Atlanta; thus lessening the time in the air; to avoid giving her ample time to implode. Whew, so much to contemplate, and we haven’t even left the ground. I’m successful, or so I thought. It was settled. We would take a short flight from Montgomery rather than Birmingham on a reasonably sized plane and get to Atlanta before we take flight from Montgomery (time zone change); catastrophe averted. Itinerary arrives showing we are traveling, in all likelihood, on the smallest plane of which I have ever flown; my worst fear manifested. Now, another dilemma, do we tell the twin or wait until we are boarding and shove her on the plane to lessen the time for anxiety to build to a point of no return, and before she finds out the plane has only fourteen rows, and you have to tunnel your way through the isle like a mole in its habitat? No, my conscience says, we should tell her. Surprisingly, she seems to take it quite well. Good, another obstacle down, fifteen to go. 
Next dilemma, the hotel. Well, this has been taken care of by the twin. I must say, she has done her research. It’s settled, it will be the Mariott Marquis in Times Square. Great hotel! Reason why she chose this hotel, it has an elevator on the inside which is made of glass. And you say, “so what”, don’t they have glass elevators in Alabama? Yes, we do. Oh, I failed to mention this in the preface. My twin is terrified of elevators, as well. It’s the claustrophobia thing again rearing its ugly head....you know, small enclosed spaces~~ God Love Her and Bless Her Heart for the second time. Now, I don’t want to sound insensitive, as this is a legitimate phobia, and a documented medical condition you will hear about later. I’ve seen that “deer caught in headlights” look of fear in her eyes all too many times when those elevator doors don’t pop open within a nanosecond. It’s not good. However, she does have a reasonably fair sense of humor, and I’m certain after all is said and done and she is old and grey haired sitting in her rocking chair in prison, I mean “the home” she’ll chuckle because I’ll be long dead.
by Malia Ragan
Part 1
By writing this, I most likely have squashed all hopes of securing that coveted invitation and designated space at the twin’s Thanksgiving dinner table. ~~Preface, yes, she is my biological twin sister and, I love her dearly, as she has been there for me through thick and thin. I don’t want to give you the idea that she has never ventured farther than LA (lower Alabama), in her travels; quite the contrary, just not by air.
The twin comes up with a great idea for a group of us ladies to take a trip to New York City (NYC). You know, to do the tourist thing. Now mind you, the twin is not only intensely afraid of air travel, she is extremely claustrophobic. Bless her Heart and God Love Her, as we southerners say. She has flown only once in her 50 some odd years on this earth. The one and only time, I was with her, but that adventure is for another time. It wasn’t pretty, but it was memorable. But, NYC, I’m game!
We begin to plan, the four of us; three Realtors and a mortgage broker. Sounds like a fun bunch, huh? That’s where I face my first dilemma of many on this trip. The plane! My thought is which airport to choose to embark on our excursion; or better yet, to break it down, which airport or airline has a plane flying from Alabama to NYC that is larger than a crop duster (extremely small prop plane) to avoid a claustrophobic meltdown of the twin. Or, if it is a crop duster, how short is the flight before catching our connecting flight in Atlanta; thus lessening the time in the air; to avoid giving her ample time to implode. Whew, so much to contemplate, and we haven’t even left the ground. I’m successful, or so I thought. It was settled. We would take a short flight from Montgomery rather than Birmingham on a reasonably sized plane and get to Atlanta before we take flight from Montgomery (time zone change); catastrophe averted. Itinerary arrives showing we are traveling, in all likelihood, on the smallest plane of which I have ever flown; my worst fear manifested. Now, another dilemma, do we tell the twin or wait until we are boarding and shove her on the plane to lessen the time for anxiety to build to a point of no return, and before she finds out the plane has only fourteen rows, and you have to tunnel your way through the isle like a mole in its habitat? No, my conscience says, we should tell her. Surprisingly, she seems to take it quite well. Good, another obstacle down, fifteen to go. Next dilemma, the hotel. Well, this has been taken care of by the twin. I must say, she has done her research. It’s settled, it will be the Mariott Marquis in Times Square. Great hotel! Reason why she chose this hotel, it has an elevator on the inside which is made of glass. And you say, “so what”, don’t they have glass elevators in Alabama? Yes, we do. Oh, I failed to mention this in the preface. My twin is terrified of elevators, as well. It’s the claustrophobia thing again rearing its ugly head....you know, small enclosed spaces~~ God Love Her and Bless Her Heart for the second time. Now, I don’t want to sound insensitive, as this is a legitimate phobia, and a documented medical condition you will hear about later. I’ve seen that “deer caught in headlights” look of fear in her eyes all too many times when those elevator doors don’t pop open within a nanosecond. It’s not good. However, she does have a reasonably fair sense of humor, and I’m certain after all is said and done and she is old and grey haired sitting in her rocking chair in prison, I mean “the home” she’ll chuckle because I’ll be long dead. Now, my twin is a planner. She does her homework. I tell her continually she “over thinks” everything. I think it has something to do with the fact that she is a Criminal Justice major. Thanks to her diligent research, our group now knows all the do’s and don’ts associated with surviving the “jungles” of NYC. Thanks to the twin, we now know what side of the sidewalk to walk on to avoid being trampled, we know what type of purse to carry to avoid a purse snatcher, we know what type of shoes to wear in case we have to run; I assume, how much cash to carry on our person, and the list goes on and on; you get the point. Did I mention, she also focuses heavily on Murphy’s law~~ God Love Her and Bless Her Heart for the third time.
The plane trip itself~~ I try and tell the twin just try and imagine you are on a bus, train or in a car once we level off in the air. “Can’t do it”, she says. “The entire time we’re in the air, the only thing I can think about is we’re going to fall out of the sky”. Oh for the love of…. God Love Her and Bless Her Heart. It’s going to be an extremely long four days.
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