Cruising~Not My Cup of Tea

Joshua Trees-Mojave Desert

In just about advertising medium, you will find advertisements for cruise ship excursions. I was surprised to find just that while perusing Sky Mall magazine on my last flight.

I’ve been on just two cruises; one while in my twenties which I enjoyed, immensely, and one just a couple of years ago. When we are young, the thrill of anticipation associated with just about any adventure we chose was enough to keep us amused.  However, on my last excursion to the Yucatan Peninsula, and as we eased our way out of the Port of Mobile, I had this overwhelming feeling of isolation in the pit of my stomach; knowing that this was the point of no return; far removed from any positive emotions I should be feeling at this juncture.   

Cozumel

Nowhere in the small print did it say just how tiny our “inside” cabin would be.  They should be required to post the dimensions of these "inside" rooms when we book.  Also not mentioned was the fact that by stretching our arms out to either side, we can almost touch both walls, and that we can sit on the toilet and take a shower at the same time; an interesting concept.  I can visualize Carnival Cruise Line’s marketing execs sitting around a conference table and coming up with the idea to lessen the blow~~ let’s teach the staff to make funny little towel animal thingies and we’ll put them on the bed;  just maybe, this will divert the guests’ attention long enough for them not to notice how small their room actually is~~ didn’t work on this passenger. I soon grew to despise these odd little creatures that miraculously appeared on my  bed every time I went out of the room.   Carnival also missed the mark with their new marketing slogan “It’s not just a ship, it’s a way of life”…  I certainly hope not as on this particular trip, you would need to have been a mole to enjoy spending all your time indoors in this tiny "closet"/room.  I now can relate to how my cat must feel in her carrier.  Caged animal is a good depiction.

You relegate yourself to the notion that the lack of space in the room is not so bad; there will be so many activities on board, we won’t be spending much time in our room.  Of course, these activities become significantly limited once you enter a tropical “depression” and are forced to spend even more time in your “closet".  The seas were so angry, most folks experienced some degree of seasickness the duration of the trip; only getting a brief respite when we disembarked in Cozumel. Barf bags were strategically placed along all corridors.  Seas were so rough that most of the shows were cancelled because it was too dangerous for the dancers to perform their lifts. I can relate, somewhat, as it took me three days after disembarking before I could walk a straight line. That’s how rough it was.  For days, I felt as if I was still bouncing.

Garden of the Gods

If you don’t enjoy consuming copious amount of adult beverages in the ship’s bars, or spending a prolonged amount of time in the casino, which I don't, then you were pretty much stuck in this floating tomb.  Entrances to the outside decks were roped off, for the benefit of the drunks coming out of the bars so they won't wander outside and fall overboard and bcause of the storm.  So, you can forget going out on deck to get some fresh air and enjoy the beautiful water.  Going back to your “closet” to watch TV is no good either because as everyone knows, satellite TV is sketchy at best in good weather and nonexistent with a tropical “depression”.  I didn’t bring any reading material along because I thought there would be just too many activities on board for me to possibly have time to catch up on my reading. Boy was I wrong.

My only saving grace was the gift shop. There, I stocked up on reading material and headed to higher ground.   By higher ground, I mean a higher floor near the center of the ship as the movement of the ship in the storm is minimized nearer to the center of the ship. Makes sense.  And, of course, wouldn’t you know it, our “closet” was at the extreme bow of the ship; the worst place to be.  It didn’t take my stomach long to recognize this with every crashing wave.

I had a disproportionate amount of time to think on this particular cruise, and I made a vow that if God would allow me to set foot back on land in the Port of Mobile and with my sanity intact, I would never go on another cruise as long as I live. Or, at least not one of these four-five day excursions where you stay out on the water for all but the six hours you spend in port “sightseeing”.  A multiple port of call destination cruise, I may consider.  I’ve learned to never say never.  At least you can disembark at different ports of call most every day and explore the outdoors. When I travel to a new destination, I want to experience the history, culture and customs of the people and area, explore the wildlife, vegetation, and terrain.  When you step off the ship in Cozumel, you enter a tourist mecca of retail shops with proprietors standing outside the door enticing you to come in; hawking their wares in close resemblance to walking down the midway of your county Fair.  

Mt. Evans

Our priorities, likes and dislikes change dramatically as we age. I really don’t think cruising has changed that much from my early 20’s to present.  Perhaps, it is I who has made the transformation. It's evident that I am over the glitz and glitter period of my life.  I now find great solace and fulfillment in simple pleasures. As I look back on some of my travels, those that involve nature were the most memorable.  I’ve trekked through the Mojave Desert in  California and southern Nevada; looked at the beautiful landscape atop Mt. Evans in the Colorado Rockies; some 14,265 feet above sea level,  walked the grounds of the Garden of the Gods outside of Colorado Springs, driven along the beautiful Blue Ridge Parkway; stopped to picnic and hike; travelled the Sierra Nevada range overlooking Lake Tahoe, whitewater rafted the Ocoee and was amazed by the culture and history of Santa Fe, New Mexico.  These are some of the destinations I enjoyed an overwhelming sense of joy, inner peace and contentment.  I'll gladly choose to travel any of these destinations than a cruise to nowhere.  In the words of Frank Lloyd Wright ~ I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.