Has Anyone Seen My Eyeglasses?

Have you ever counted the number of times a day you ask the question, "has anyone seen my eyeglasses? " Chances are if your are over the age of 50, it may be more often than you care to admit.  I don't mind divulging, I've ransacked the house many times looking for the illusive creatures, only to find them looped on the neck of my shirt.

For some reason, misplacing eyeglasses seems to happen more frequently to us women.  You have no idea how much it hurts me to admit to such. But, it is true.  How many times have we sent the men in our lives on scavenger hunts; retracing our paths in search of our eyeglasses. How often have we trekked back into a restaurant to retrieve our eyeglasses that we left on the table?  For me, I need them to read the menu but don't need them to see my food. Why I don't put them back in my purse when I am done, I can't explain.

What about the strange places that we have found our eyeglasses? Just recently, I found my Ralph Lauren prescription bi-focals flat as a flitter in the middle of the street.  How you ask?  That is what happens when you lay them on the hood of the suv and then drive off.  Within less than a month, this incident was followed up with finding them in the mouth of my twelve-week old puppy; chewed to smithereens.  Lenscrafters just loves to see me walk in the door. Fortunately for me, they have a great insurance plan.  For us women, I think this phenomenon boils down to the fact that we just have so much more "stuff" to keep up with and too much on our minds.  I don't think it has anything to do with brain fog or senility, it's just that our female brain is just so darn complex and our brainpower so extremely exceptional. Yes, that sounds more palatable, don't you think?

Some folks think they have found the solution to the vanishing glasses syndrome by purchasing multiple pair of cheap, disposable reading glasses; less costly if lost. I've had co-workers who fit this category.  They go to Costco and purchase the family pack of non-prescription +200's and place them, strategically, in every nook and cranny of their world. Problem is, one day they become just like the majority of us forgetful souls, ultimately, down to the one pair!  Where do they go?  Who knows. There's no scientific data to form an hypothesis. But, it does seem to compare to missing socks in the laundry mystery.

I have neither succumbed to the practice of buying  cheap reading glasses in bulk, nor have I enbraced the practice of wearing them on a chain around my neck. I don't care how much they bejewel the chains, I just can't do it. So, I'll just continue my daily hunts and look at it as an adventure that keeps my life interesting and the folks around me, annoyed and busy.