Hospital Stay Uneventful; Never For Me

Just recently, I returned home after a hospital stay.  Uneventful; never.  Really weird things happen in hospitals or so the case is for me.  Right away the weirdness began.  
 

About 9:30 p.m. the first night,  scooter from radiology came in to deliver two bottles of the white chalky stuff for me to drink.  He was about five foot nothing and was just oozing with excitement as he explained that he and I had a date with the CT machine at 11:45 p.m. After I had chugged a full bottle and was about to start the second, the nurse popped in and asked "where did you get that?"  Feeling like a child who had just been caught doing something wrong,  I replied "radiology;  or at least that was what he had inscribed on his shirt."   She explained that the doctor wanted it without contrast.  Okay, so I just drank a full bottle of yuck for no particular reason?  Got down to radiology and scooter asked with excitement, were you able to drink both bottles?  "No", I replied.  "The nurse stopped me because the order from the doctor was without barium."  After a few minutes of placing blame, he finally shut up.  I was thinking to myself, whatever, just get on with this and get me back to my room.  
 

One morning after "drinking" my breakfast, a tall, handsome doctor in his crisp white coat and neatly trimmed beard steps into the room, walks over to my bed and shakes my hand.  "I'm Dr. X and I'm here to talk with you about the fluid in your lungs", he explained.  I repeated his remark "fluid in my lungs, what fluid in my lungs?  No one has mentioned any fluid in my lungs".    Wouldn't you think  a doctor would check the name on the door or name on the  wristband before addressing a patient?  I guess asking my name would have been too difficult. I have sympathy for the patient who has fluid on the lungs, but I was so thankful, it didn't apply to me.  I don't know if it was a logistics thing or what, but that wasn't the only doctor that came into the room looking for another patient, nevertheless, I'm glad I was coherent.  Lord help the patient who isn't.  
 

Anyone who has spent time in the hospital knows that you get no rest at night.  It's a constant stream of folks wanting your blood or checking your vitals.  It can be a bit unnerving and downright scary to have a complete stranger wake you up in the middle of the night; even more so if they resemble Marie Laveau, the Voodoo Queen of New Orleans, complete with stage makeup;  giving her that permanent surprised look on her face. She spoke in broken English.   To make matters worse,  she must have bathed in cologne.  That doesn't create a problem for me, but it does for my sister who goes into anaphylactic  shock upon sniffing strong chemicals or perfumes.  So, every time I spied "Marie" coming through the door in the middle of the night, I would quickly punch my sleeping sister in the recliner next to me, now armed with a surgical mask,  so she could arm herself until "Marie" and her fog of cologne dissipated. I don't think she ever got the hint.
 

And, finally, the Pièce de résistance of the entire stay - I was under the care of  the head physician of a major teaching hospital's gastro department in the State; over an hour's drive from home.  He was too busy to see me at my last appointment and referred me to his physician's assistant instead.  She assured me that she would talk to Mr. Big and they would get back with me to discuss treatment options.  Two weeks and three messages later, still no word.  While in the hospital, the gastroenterologist who cared for me proclaimed that they have a professional relationship with Mr. Big,  in fact, he is covering for them the following weekend and will be seeing me during my hospital stay.  Well what are the odds of that?  A physician at the biggest hospital in the State who is too busy to see me in his office some 100 miles away, HAS to see ME on MY turf in a couple of days.  Needless to say, Mr. Big walked in a very humbled man.  
 

Some good always comes out of a bad situation.  The shining light of my hospital stay was the time spent with the student nurses from the local college.  They were the most amazing young ladies.  It restored my faith in the current generation.  Yes, true, they are the cream of the crop to gain admittance to this college of nursing, but they were the most pleasant, eager, and conscientious young ladies I have ever met.  They truly brightened my day.

I Want My Life Back

I've always been active; living life to the fullest.  I work hard and play hard. Nothing brings me more pleasure than working in the yard, spending time with my friends and family and doing for others.  My motto has always been, if  I am tired, I push harder, if I'm not feeling up to par on any given day, I keep going.  I have always loved the outdoors; gardening, fishing, white water rafting, water skiing and traveling.  Give me the choice of a day outdoors or a shopping trip, I'll choose outdoor activities any day.

My active life as I once knew it took a dramatic 360 degree turn three months ago.  Standing graveside during my Uncle's funeral, was the beginning of my world being turned upside down. The most excruciating pain that I think I have ever experienced hit me in the center of my chest about the time the military officer began to play taps.  The longer I stood,  the worse the pain escalated.  If I had not known better, I would have thought I was having a heart attack.  The last thing I wanted was to draw attention to myself, so I leaned onto a relative and whispered that I was feeling a little light headed. As the service ended, I quickly made it to the car.  It took about 30 mins. for the pain to subside.

After this first attack, the symptoms became more frequent so I finally gave in and made an appointment to see my doctor. He suspected stomach ulcer and put me on medication to treat my symptoms.  I felt well enough to be travel on vacation to Colorado and remained pain free.

A few weeks after my vacation, the pain returned and intensified.  Even though I had my gallbladder removed last September, I began to feel the same "gallbladder attack" pain  but the pain radiated through to my back shoulder blade as if a spear was being shoved into my back.   The spasm-like pain feels like someone has your chest in a vice grip and squeezing it to the max.  I spent three days in pain pretty much confined to  the sofa,  just my 90 pound dog and me; until I couldn't fight it another minute.  On a Sunday afternoon, I went to the ER.  After, EKG, xrays and blood work, they had a good idea what was going on and were finally able to stop the pain.  The ER doctor was a soft spoken, caring, man who took the time to explain to me, in depth, his suspicion. The diagnosis was Sphincter of Oddi Dysfunction (SOD); a dangerous condition affecting a valve leading from pancreas and biliary tree.  It is found in mostly women after gallbladder removal. Depending on  SOD I, II or III, symptoms and severity of the disorder vary with no drug available to treat the specific condition.  Surgery is extremely risky and is successful only in about 50% of patients and more often than not causes acute pancreatitis. It's a damned if you do and damned if you don't scenario.   Pain is completely off the pain chart. As a nurse told me, women often say that child birth doesn't hold a candle to the pain.  I've always had a high tolerance for pain, but this  pain stops you in your tracks.  You cannot work through it. You have to lie down.

 

As I await my appointment to a SOD specialist at the University of Alabama Birmingham, a teaching hospital that has received a grant for research of SOD,  I live on a day-to-day basis; sometimes on an hour-to-hour basis; always fearing that an attack will begin.  The anti-spasm drug works only sporadically so my world as I once knew it is no more.   One of the triggers of an attack is on exertion.  No longer can I spend hours working in the yard, taking a walk or playing with fetch with my puppy  in the back yard.  My business has suffered.

 

If you have cancer, heart condition or other disease, people can relate.  Society understands tangible diseases like cancer and heart disease. Chronic or rare debilitating pain conditions; society is less accepting.  Friends try but can't understand that if you turn down invitations, it's because you are having one of your high pain days when you can do no more than remain on the sofa drawn up in a fetal position until the pain subsides.  You soon begin to notice that invitations are becoming less frequent.  I'm not a complainer so if anyone asks how I am coping rather than boring them with more information than they really want to know, I just say that I have my good days and bad days, and leave it at that. 

 

I want my life back.  I want to wake up in the morning and know that I'm going to be able complete my daily tasks.  I want know that when I make a date to meet friends for lunch or appointments with  clients  that I can keep the appointment.  I want to be able to plan a trip to the beach and make plans for the future.  I want to play fetch and run and play with my dog, Baylie, without triggering an attack.  I want to be able to complete simple tasks like cleaning the house or working in the yard without having to stop in the middle and lie down when the pain hits.  I believe that if something is wrong, you fix it and move on.  I want to be "fixed".  I have no fear of surgery to correct an illness, but when you have been given no concrete hope that surgery will "fix" you,  a wave of hopelessness for a better quality of life starts to slip into your mind and the tears begin to flow.  I see people going on with their daily lives and doing the things that bring them joy and no matter how hard I try, a wave of sorrow flows over me as I wonder will that ever again be me.
 

Chronic pain sufferers and those suffering with "non-tangible" disorders or diseases are often left to suffer in silence for fear of stereotypical remarks and assumptions from society; leading to even more feelings of isolation and hopelessness.  Until it affects you, you will never understand.  I admit, I had no concept of debilitating pain.  If I heard someone complain of pain, I would think to myself, just work through it and keep going.   Yes, I also succumbed to society's stereotypical response to something I could not relate.

For now, I am counting the days until August 22 to see the specialist who I want to "fix" me.  I pray that he has a good bedside manner and doesn't disappoint me.  I pray that my condition can be kept in check with a better choice of medication than I am currently taking to stop the pain and spasms.  Until then, I'll suffer alone when the days become unbearable.     The days of the old, free of pain, happy go lucky, fun loving me, I will reserve for work, family and friends.  I will thank God for my good days and will learn to cope with the bad.  I now know what it means to say, "if you don't have your health, you have nothing".   I will try and be more patient when I'm around people who haven't figured that out. 

Humbled By The Storm-On Foot In An F-3 Tornado

Pictures from 2/17/2008

Sunday, February 17, 2008, began as any other Sunday; early morning church, lunch with friends then settled in for a quiet Sunday around the house.  It was unseasonably warm; always a preclude to possible bad storms. Something we are accustomed to here in Alabama. We take it in stride.

I admit, I always have been complacent when it comes to bad weather. I respect it but have never feared it. A tornado is something you see on the nightly news that happens somewhere other than your neighborhood.  Never been one to pack up the family and animals and move to a safe place as tornado warning sirens wail.    I now understand why that demented ideology and lack of rationale can prevent you from seeing another day.

My 10 Reasons To Get A Puppy

Baylie

1.         Guaranteed weight loss without spending a dime on gym membership.
            I lost 8 lbs. and three inches.

2.         Puppies make excellent cleaners. Any morsel of food, crumbs, paper or spills
            are lapped up by your puppy in a nanosecond.

Has Anyone Seen My Eyeglasses?

Have you ever counted the number of times a day you ask the question, "has anyone seen my eyeglasses? " Chances are if your are over the age of 50, it may be more often than you care to admit.  I don't mind divulging, I've ransacked the house many times looking for the illusive creatures, only to find them looped on the neck of my shirt.

For some reason, misplacing eyeglasses seems to happen more frequently to us women.  You have no idea how much it hurts me to admit to such. But, it is true.  How many times have we sent the men in our lives on scavenger hunts; retracing our paths in search of our eyeglasses. How often have we trekked back into a restaurant to retrieve our eyeglasses that we left on the table?  For me, I need them to read the menu but don't need them to see my food. Why I don't put them back in my purse when I am done, I can't explain.

Single With Puppy - Life with Baylie

If someone had told me that I would become the parent of a bouncing, four-pound baby girl at my ripe old age, I would have said they are one sandwich short of a  picnic.  Now that I have sparked your curiosity, I'm talking about being the parent of a four-legged K-9 commonly referred to as a DOG. My habitat is now home to  a six week old  rescue. She is a Great Pyrenees/ Border Collie mix that I could not bear to see go to a shelter.  After the vet identified her as part Great Pyrenees, I Googled the breed. My first thought, after I picked myself up off the floor, was why could  I not have rescued a Chihuahua rather than a dog that has the potential to weigh far more than the cat and I combined. 

"Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler"

When you hear "Mardi Gras" or  Fat Tuesday, you immediately think New Orleans. Right? But for this native Alabamian, I think, Mobile, Alabama.  Why, because Mobile's Carnival celebration began in 1703; 15 years before New Orleans was even founded. It began as a French Catholic celebration beginning on or after Epiphany and culminating on the day before Ash Wednesday or Fat Tuesday (Shrove Tuesday).

This raucous and sometimes hedonistic celebration of madness known as Mardi Gras got its roots from the Christian calendar as a sort of last hurrah before Lent begins on Ash Wednesday.  The Christian interpretation to the ancient custom of Carnival became a time of abandon and merriment which preceded the Lenten period (a symbolic Christian penitence of 40 days) which includes the practice of the last night of eating richer, fatty foods before the fasting.

God's Country

Photo Taken During My Trip to Little River Canyon

Unknown to most folks living outside of the South, Alabama is a state of diversities both culturally and geographically. To the south are coastal beaches with sugar white sands and to the extreme northeast; the southernmost region of the Appalachian Mountain chain. Equally diverse is the cultural heritage of these regions as well as the dialect. People living in the northeastern corner of the Appalachian region of the State speak a southern Appalachia dialect that, to us urbanites living in Montgomery and Birmingham, sounds quite foreign.

Misplaced Guilt

Just recently, I found myself in the hospital. Nothing major just needed antibiotics administered by IV, or so I thought. But that's another story.  New Year's Eve in the hospital wasn't bad. I had friends and family visit earlier in the evening, and I was feeling pretty good.  Didn't take me long to get bored watching the ball drop in Times Square before I drifted off to sleep. 

Snow In the Deep South

Since everyone seems to be getting an early jump on winter and the holiday season this year, perhaps, writing about the season will get me in the spirit, even though the temperature earlier this week was a balmy 80 degrees.  Here in Alabama, we cannot depend on Mother Nature to give us a hint that the holiday season and Winter are nearing as we have only two seasons here; hot and not so hot. 

I’ve always envied my northern neighbors when I see pictures on the news of families enjoying time together in a snowy winter wonderland with fun filled days spent sledding, skiing and frolicking in the snow; right out of a Norman Rockwell or Thomas Kinkaid painting.  Of course, absent from the scenes are the unpleasantries that go along with this white fluffy oddity, as  I’m sure my cold climate friends would be quick to point out.  Nevertheless, these winter scenes give me a warm and cozy feeling. I even enjoy the acoustical affects of snow covering the ground, as the world seems to become a much quieter place.

Bayou La Batre...The Psychological Scars Left by BP

Bayou La Batre Fishing Fleet

The psychological scars related to the BP oil spill are evident along the Gulf coast of Alabama, but none so severe as for those people whose only livelihood depends upon the fishing industry. 

Bayou La Batre, Alabama (pronounced BYE-yoo luh-BAH-tre) is a fishing village outside of Mobile, Alabama founded in 1786 and named the seafood capital of Alabama. It gained its notoriety from the 1994 film, "Forrest Gump", and Winston Groom’s book of the same name. Its economy is predominately dependent upon the Gulf of Mexico and its bounty. There is an old saying that Bayou La Batre has four seasons; shrimp, oysters, crab and fish. For the people who live there, it’s not just a job, it’s a way of life and one which they are proud to hand down from generation to generation. Most employment comes from commercial fishing and seafood processing plants; all shut down after the spill.

Alabama Beaches Continue to Suffer...Thanks BP

Just a short three-hour drive South from Montgomery, located on Alabama’s Gulf Coast, are the towns of Gulf Shores and Orange Beach; home to the most beautiful beaches you will ever find with emerald green clear waters and sugar white sands.  If you are an Alabamian, this is your home away from home; a place you visit multiple times per year.  It is not unusual to experience 80-plus degree temps well into October.  Why travel to other destinations to enjoy the sun and surf when we have it right in our backyard.

Gulf Shores and Orange Beach suffered a devastating blow in 2004 at the hands of a category 5 Hurricane named, befittingly, here in Alabama as “Ivan the Terrible”. The Towns of Gulf Shores and Orange Beach took a direct hit from Ivan as its path continued through the center of the state of Alabama.  Total estimated damage from Ivan was 20.9 billion dollars. I toured my beloved Alabama Gulf Coast area soon thereafter and words cannot describe the devastation. My only comparison would be the Tuscaloosa tornadoes but on a much grander scale. The wetlands ecosystem was altered. If there were any trees spared from the winds, they were slowly dying from the salt water spray.  Lack of sea oats, a protected species necessary to stabilize the natural sand dunes, were destroyed along with the dunes themselves; resulting in an unrecognizable flat landscape.

The Waiting Room

If there is anything we hate as a society, it is to wait.  We seem to spend a disproportionate amount of time these days in physicians' waiting rooms.  While recently doing just that,  I grew tired of texting, answering emails and flipping through out of date magazines.  So, I began to observe the people around me. 

The first thing that came to mind is waiting rooms have changed over the years due, in part, to advances in modern technology; specifically personal communication devices.  Technology has transformed our behavior.  We now have a legitimate excuse not to engage in conversation with one another. I hate to admit, that may not be all bad, as I have been guilty of not wanting to engage in small talk with strangers while waiting in my doctor's office, especially if I am not feeling well; thus the reason for being in a doctor’s office in the first place.

Before the days of the Blackberry, IPhone, laptop and wifi, we buried our heads in a magazine to avoid communication and prayed no one would begin the epistle of their life, or even worse, the reason for their visit to the doctor down to the minute detail; no matter how gory or inappropriate.

Cruising~Not My Cup of Tea

Joshua Trees-Mojave Desert

In just about advertising medium, you will find advertisements for cruise ship excursions. I was surprised to find just that while perusing Sky Mall magazine on my last flight.

I’ve been on just two cruises; one while in my twenties which I enjoyed, immensely, and one just a couple of years ago. When we are young, the thrill of anticipation associated with just about any adventure we chose was enough to keep us amused.  However, on my last excursion to the Yucatan Peninsula, and as we eased our way out of the Port of Mobile, I had this overwhelming feeling of isolation in the pit of my stomach; knowing that this was the point of no return; far removed from any positive emotions I should be feeling at this juncture.   

You Grow Old Because You Stop Laughing

Today, while in our every Tuesday morning sales meeting, my mind began to wander; taking me back to an incident that happened last Winter.

Sitting in the meeting that cold January day, while fiddling with my necklace, I realized I had my turtleneck sweater on backwards.  So, I waited until the meeting ended and slipped off to the restroom to remedy the situation.  Only we women can relate to this. I pulled the sweater up above my shoulders, twirled it around and all was good.  About the time I began to pour a cup of coffee with my back to the group, I heard the gang begin to laugh; not just the polite chuckle but all out roll in the floor laughter.  Seems, in haste, when I turned my sweater around, I forgot to turn my rather long necklace and my name badge around to the front.  So, from the waist up it looked as if all was in place except for my head.   It was mentioned it looked as if my head was on backwards; like a scene from the Exorcist.   I can’t relate because I have never seen the Exorcist; too frightened as a teenager to watch.   I must admit, I enjoyed the laugh as much as everyone.

Look Twice Before Entering

Seems more often that not when my twin sister and I get together, calamities are certain to follow.  A relative once likened us to two little raccoons always getting into mischief. 

I hesitate to tell you about this little snafu because it ranks high on my list of most ridiculous things I have done in my lifetime.  To this day, I have never heard of anyone doing this.  I even have a friend who polled her classroom of sixth graders; asking them if they had ever known of anyone who has made this same mistake and lived to tell about it.  No one came forward.

Accident Prone, Me? Part 2

Accident Prone, Me?
Part 2

Walking on the street in Golden, Colorado, a friend and I spy a neat little sports bar across the street we decide to try for lunch.  And, I know what you are thinking, no, we had not just come from touring Coor's brewery where free samples are offered at the conclusion of the tour though I have been there on other trips to Golden.  Luckily, it was Winter and I was wearing multiple layers for padding and snow boots, as I took a flying eagle dive right off the curb. This time, no broken bones, just a twisted ankle treated with ice and a bruised ego.  And, yes there was a witness; a complete stranger who went on and on about how I bounced. Again, just what I wanted to hear.

Next incident, four stitches to the back of the ear courtesy of my cat; emergency room visit #5 for me and for the cat; quarantine compliments of the Department of Public Health with six days in-house confinement.  That's right, let's make an already angry cat even more combative by confining her to the house, against her will,  for six days.

Accident Prone, Me? Part1

ACCIDENT PRONE, ME?
Part 1

http://youtu.be/hU2q25YqRJQ

by Malia Ragan

I’ve always prided myself in being physically coordinated.  Growing up, I excelled in most sports. I was a cheerleader, played the flute in the marching band, loved to water ski, swim and jet ski, played softball and tennis among other things;  all of which require a fair amount of dexterity and coordination. In other words, I've always considered myself proficient when it comes to walking and chewing gum at the same time.  Of course, as we age, we are not as active, but I still try and remain as active as possible; of course, relatively speaking.

Think your efforts towards going green won't make a difference? Check out these startling facts and figures:

1.  If American households went online to view and pay their bills, it would save over 16 million trees. Find out what services and options are available to you.
2. Use public transportation whenever possible. Every year, public transportation reduces gasoline consumption by 1.4 billion gallons--- that's equal to 108 million full tanks of gas.
3.  If just 10 percent of U.S. households attached shut off nozzles to their outdoor hoses, we'd save enough water to fill over 128,000 bathtubs - everyday.

Common Sense 201??

by Malia Ragan

Recently, I ventured into my mobile phone provider store to upgrade my cell phone plan; that in itself is something I loathe.  A root canal sounds enjoyable compared to how much I detest going into these places.  The young lady assisting me obviously has not been through customer service training, as she asked if she could assist me with about as much zeal and exuberance as a two-toed sloth.  After completing the transaction by giving her my driver’s license and signing a new contract, I was on my way.  We complete my transaction without a hitch.

A couple of weeks later, I am unable to locate my driver’s license.  I figure, as usual, since I do this quite frequently, it must be in another purse or perhaps slipped between the seats in the SUV; it happens. In time, it would re-appear.  Well, it didn’t.  So I head down to the local DMV, another place I detest, stand in line for what seemed like two hours to get a replacement license; pay my fee, have the always dreaded picture of myself taken and off I go.

Global Warming Revisited

by Malia Ragan

Granola eating, Birkenstock wearing, tree hugging, liberal hippie~~we all have heard the stereotypical, negative connotations used to describe environmentalists and conservationists.  To set the record straight, I’ve never worn Birkenstocks; think they are terribly ugly, don’t recall ever hugging a tree, do eat granola but, I am too old to be a modern day hippie.  I also support earth day, believe global warming is occurring, and  I believe in the preservation of land, air and water; long before Al Gore made millions off of his “Going Green” campaign.    No doubt, we all agree, the Summer of 2012 has been a record-breaker for extreme heat across the United States. At least 46 deaths have been connected to the heat over the past two weeks, according to the Weather Channel. Friday saw the 9th straight day at 100 degrees or above in St. Louis, Mo., and the third straight day above 100 in Chicago.  Even though as a Southerner, we're conditioned for extreme heat, but we're not prepared for 100 plus degrees with high humidity in June!

Flying With TheTwin-God Love Her

Flying With The Twin
by Malia Ragan
Part 1

By writing this, I most likely have squashed all hopes of securing that coveted invitation and designated space at the twin’s Thanksgiving dinner table. ~~Preface, yes, she is my biological twin sister and, I love her dearly, as she has been there for me through thick and thin. I don’t want to give you the idea that she has never ventured farther than LA  (lower Alabama), in her travels; quite the contrary, just not by air.

The twin comes up with a great idea for a group of us ladies to take a trip to New York City (NYC).  You know, to do the tourist thing.  Now mind you, the twin is not only intensely afraid of air travel, she is extremely claustrophobic. Bless her Heart and God Love Her, as we southerners say.  She has flown only once in her 50 some odd years on this earth.  The one and only time, I was with her, but that adventure is for another time. It wasn’t pretty, but it was memorable. But, NYC, I’m game!